“An Attitude of Gratitude”

 

My New Year tip to readers is to do something for someone else.

I love the quote from motivational speaker Zig Ziglar who famously said, "You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want."

Overall, acts of kindness benefit both your mental and physical well-being. I know some of you are saying, "Mike, I am too busy, too stressed, too overworked, and overwhelmed." How can I help others when I can barely help myself? We can look to the late President Jimmy Carter. He served as president of the US and then quietly faded into the background, but he and his wife went on for decades to serve others. 

Why? When you do something nice for someone, your body experiences several positive mental and physical benefits:

Random acts of kindness release serotonin (which improves mood), dopamine (which creates a sense of pleasure), and endorphins (which reduce pain and stress). Being kind can lower cortisol levels, your stress hormone, making you feel calm and relaxed. Helping others can release oxytocin, which benefits your heart by reducing blood pressure and inflammation. Positive emotional states from being kind can strengthen your immune system, making your body less prone to illness. Doesn’t that sound great?

You start making your community a better place as one kind person with one kind act. Kindness can have a ripple effect, starting with one person at a time and one town at a time, by helping you focus on positive situations and giving you an opportunity to bring good to the world even when times are difficult or challenging. The way I spell love is t-i-m-e. You don't have to give money; you can just contribute your time and energy to make things better in our little quiet corner.

How? 

Donate food, toys, or books. Volunteer to serve food at a homeless shelter or the Veteran’s Coffeehouse. Leave an extra tip at your local restaurant. Drop off a meal to a family with a new baby or who just experienced a huge personal loss. Doing something to improve someone else’s day, for no good reason, will enrich your day exponentially.

Where?

There are many local places where you can help. I will begin by saying I love this quote, “Act local, think globally,” to mentally set your course. My suggestions include TEEG, Interfaith Human Services of Putnam(food donations, diaper bank, fuel, and more), the Putnam Resource Center, volunteering for your local historical society, and local boards (zoning, economic development, wetlands, etc.) or even shoveling the snow off a neighbor’s sidewalk. There are many opportunities to lift up our neighbors and our towns.

Trust me. I could share study after study about how helping someone else improves people’s moods more than getting a gift themselves, but I know this from personal experience. While running my business, I decided to do a community project and raised a few thousand dollars for Paul Newman’s Hole In The Wall camp in Eastford. When I met with the staff, they showed me the million-dollar contributions that the camp had received. Even though they appreciated the donation, it felt like a drop in the bucket to this internationally funded group. It was then I decided to do something more local. I had a very good friend who struggled with drugs, so I thought supporting local children through D.A.R.E programs might be a better choice. All the money stayed local, and each school could receive money from the generous contributions of local businesses and people in our towns. To me, it was a win-win for our kids. I felt that if drugs started to ruin my friend's life, they could destroy anyone, and I was a person who could help.

Since retiring, I have had more time to give back to the community, and I absolutely love it. I am happiest when I help others. I love being busy and giving my time, advice, and experience to others. I have always tried to pass on the philosophy of having “an attitude of gratitude.” 

My favorite quote for the new year is, “If you want to touch the past, touch a rock. If you want to touch the present, touch a flower. If you want to touch the future, touch a life.”

—AUTHOR UNKNOWN

President Carter recently passed away at age one hundred. For years after his presidency, he served his community with grace, humility, compassion, dignity, courage, and love. Let’s be like Jimmy; together, we can lift up the world.

P.S. - I am helping to organize a celebrity bartender fundraiser for Interfaith Human Services of Putnam (daily bread/diaper bank/fuel assistance) on February 20 at Montana Nights Axe Throwing in Putnam from 5:30-8 pm if you want to kick off your generosity and have lots of fun. Hope to see you there!

Mike Bogdanski

Mike is a martial arts Grandmaster and anti-bully activist.

10 social networks your kids don’t want you to know about!

 Kids are hooked on social media and are always looking for the next big thing It’s not always easy to find out about them and sometimes not easy to know if they are safe or not.

So, where are your kids hanging out today?  Here are ten social networks that you probably haven't heard of, but that your kids are using and some of the pitfalls.

1. Snapchat

Snapchat, widely nicknamed "the sexting app," lets you take photos or record video and share them with friends. The gimmick is that images "self-destruct" seconds after they've been viewed.

Teens think Snapchat is a risk-free way to share revealing or illegal photos with friends, but the recipient can save messages by taking a screenshot.  Hackers and scammers have gotten very good at stealing private images off of people's private computers and smartphones.

2. Kik

This messaging app is rated 17+ in app stores, but it's become popular with tweens and teens. Because users are known only by their Kik usernames, it's supposed to offer a private way to chat.

Like Snapchat, however, Kik is associated with sexting. And because it's easy to stay anonymous on Kik, it's become a favorite weapon for cyberbullies.

3. Tumblr
Tumblr is a blogging site that lets users share text, photo, video, quotes and audio posts. The site has earned a reputation as an online hangout for creative types. It’s no surprise it’s the blogging platform of choice for teens.

Tumblr is chock-full of content that's inappropriate for kids. Tumblr does not restrict content and many sites are filled with sexual content, offensive language and violence. Tumblr blogs are public so anyone can read your kids’ blog posts.

4. Creepy
The name of this app says it all. It lets people pull geolocation data from photos to pinpoint exactly where each picture was taken. A creep could easily find out where your child lives, goes to school or hangs out from their shared photos.

5. Pheed
Pheed is billed as a creative hangout where you can express yourself with text, photos, videos, audio tracks and voice-notes. You can create live audio and video broadcasts.

Pheed's live-streaming features raise serious privacy concerns. You never know who is watching. Hackers and online predators are out there, so make sure you talk your children about what's appropriate to share and what isn't. 

6. Vine
Vine is a free "micro-video" app that lets you create short, six-second video clips and then share them on social networking sites.

Making and sharing videos with Vine is fun and most videos posted on the service are harmless. But there's still a lot of adult content - images depicting nudity, drugs and violence - floating around the service.

7. Ask.Fm
This social media site is huge with teens in Europe and it's starting to gain popularity here too. You pose questions, or answer questions made by other users. The anonymous and unmoderated site has no privacy controls. Your child could be sharing personal information with bad people. The site has been linked to cyberbullying and bullying-related teen suicide.

8. Oovoo
Oovoo is a free video chat service that works a lot like Skype and Apple's Facetime. It blocks kids 13 and under from registering, but it's easy for kids to lie about their age and set up an account. Like all video chats, there's a real danger that kids can connect online with people they don't know. 

 9. Path
Path is a newer social network that lets you share text, photos and video with up to 150 friends. It's similar to Facebook, except instead of status updates you share "moments."  Path has a location-tracking neighborhood feature, so make sure it's turned off if your kids are on the site.

10. WhatsApp
Teens love this messenger app. WhatsApp lets you send unlimited texts, videos, photos and short audio messages. Teens can chat with friends without running up the phone bill

Tips For Parents

This is a trailer for the documentary “Bully,” which was released last month and has garnered much national attention. While many people have an understandable tendency to dismiss bullying as just being a part of growing up, it is important for all of us to understand that bullying behavior in the 21st century is no longer limited to school hallways and playgrounds. Rather, the increase in popularity for social media sites like Facebook and Twitter have made so-called
“cyber bullying” an additional way for victims to be harassed and abused.

I bring this issue up because it is important for parents to understand that they need to become involved when their child has become a victim of bullying. A New Jersey school board recently agreed to a $4.2 million settlement with a former student six years after a punch from a bully resulted in the student being paralyzed. While the board of education in that incident did not admit liability, the family of the paralyzed student was able to demonstrate that school officials knew or should have known about the attacker’s violent tendencies.

That case demonstrates the importance of documenting all conversations a parent attempts to have with school officials regarding bullying. Parents cannot be afraid to take action when a child is being repeatedly bullied. It is perfectly appropriate to contact the authorities if there is any kind of physical assault, and you should speak to a lawyer if teachers or school administrators seem dismissive or unconcerned with the issue.

While bullying has long been treated as just being another “part of life,” more and more cases of this behavior around the nation are resulting in catastrophic injuries or even deaths. Parents must still maintain the greatest protective role. It is important for all of us to become involved so we can hopefully prevent any more unnecessary injuries or deaths resulting from bullying.