Saturday, August 27, 2011

Do Your Children Have Everything They Need For Back To School?

Do Your Children Have Everything They Need For Back To School?

You will give your kids a nutritious lunch and snack, instructions how to avoid strangers, the best electronics/laptop to make them a more productive student but would you give them something that would help them have emotional stability and reduce stress?
I am talking about self defense against bullies.
Returning to school after being off all summer may be a little stressful for kids. Giving them the right tools and skills to return are essential for a great start and I would like to provide some tips on how to prepare for the possibility of bullying.
Forewarned is forearmed. Identifying what bullying is helps kids see the problem.


Bullying is when one child picks on another child repeatedly. Bullying can be physical, verbal, or social. It can happen at school, on the playground, on the school bus, in the neighborhood, or over the Internet.
Types of Bullying:
a. Physical aggression: spitting, tripping, pushing, shoving, having money or other things taken or damaged.
b. Social alienation: gossiping, spreading rumors, excluding someone from the
group, publicly humiliation.
c. Verbal aggression: name calling, teasing,
d. Intimidation: playing a dirty trick or a public challenge to do something,
e. Threats or being forced to do things
f. Sexual bullying - commenting on body parts, calling a person gay or lesbian.
g. Racial bullying
h. Cyber bullying (via cell phone or the Internet)

We have a classic idea of what a bully looks like, big strong, mean and usually a male. This is not the case anymore. Bullying has two approaches, the male way, more direct and in your face and the girls way which is more indirect in its approach. There are three people in the bully situation. The bully, the target and the bystander. The bully is usually someone with lots of confidence and leverage in situations and has a commanding presence. This makes it challenging for a child who is targeted to stand up to them. Bullies look for children who look, act, dress or speak differently and give off signs of vulnerability. Here are my main suggestions.

When Your Child Is Bullied
• Help your child learn how to communicate with confidence by teaching them how to:
1. Look the bully in the eye.
2. Stand tall and stay calm in a difficult situation.
3. Walk away.
• Teach your child how to say in a firm voice.
“Back away”. This is a concise script that is simple and effective.
• Teach your child when and how to ask for help.
• Encourage your child to make friends with other children.
• Support activities that interest your child.
• Alert school officials to the problems and work with them on solutions.
• Make sure an adult or older child who knows about the bullying can watch out for your child's safety and well-being when you cannot be there.
When Your Child Is a Bystander
• Bystanders far outnumber the bullies in school. They can and should be the dominant force in defeating bullying.
• Teach your child they have a moral responsibility to help children who are being bullied.
• Encourage your child to join with others in telling bullies to stop (remember there are NO innocent bystanders)
• Tell your child not to cheer on or even quietly watch bullying.
• Encourage your child to tell a trusted adult about the bullying.
• Help your child support other children who may be bullied. Encourage your child to include these children in activities to help reduce the opportunities bullies look for.

Mike Bogdanski
America's ANTI Bully