With school back in session for a month now, we must again address new or repeated instances of bullying going on. When teaching self-defense against bullies, I always start with the A-B-C’s. “A” stands for awareness and being vigilant in areas where bullying is likely to occur.
Bullying at school often occurs in specific locations, known as "hot spots," where there is less adult supervision. These areas can vary by school, but common hot spots include:
* Hallways and Stairwells: These are high-traffic, transitional areas where supervision is often limited, making them prime locations for bullying.
* Bathrooms and Locker Rooms: Due to a lack of adult presence, bullies frequently use these spaces as target-rich opportunity areas where bad situations can happen out of the view of teachers.
* Playgrounds and Athletic Fields: While often supervised, these areas can be large, allowing for incidents to occur out of a teacher's line of sight. What seems like casual interaction, or “play,” can become a problem area.
* Lunchrooms/Cafeterias: The noise and large crowds can make it difficult for staff to notice and intervene in bullying incidents. It becomes much harder to identify in the middle of a large group of children interacting.
* Classrooms (when the teacher is distracted): Bullying can also happen during moments of transition or when the teacher has left the room.
These physical locations are often where direct, in-person bullying, such as bodily harm, name-calling, or social exclusion, takes place.
Here is my recommendation. Using a buddy system can be a critical fix in many bullying situations. Bullies often look for kids who are isolated or alone. With a (confident) buddy, your child is less likely to be picked on, and both buddies can stand up for each other. If your child has the opportunity to use a friend to stand up for them actively, this will reduce the incidents of bullying. Now this is the time to address the “B and C” of self-defense. First, take a deep (B) breath and (C) communicate with confidence. I suggest role-playing assertive responses, such as “back away”. This method is a simple, confident, and rehearsed script, accompanied by a confident stance and eye contact. To excel at this, you and your child will need plenty of practice. Repetition creates success.
Cyberbullying (the silent method of bullying)
Cyberbullying is a form of bullying that occurs through digital devices, such as cell phones, computers, and tablets. It can happen on social media platforms, through text messages, or in online gaming environments. Many schools are banning cellphone use or planning to ban use. Several studies I have read see this as a win-win opportunity for teachers and students. Don't worry, in these cases, phones may be brought to school and just “parked” in the classroom.
Cyberbullying is particularly harmful because it can be:
* Persistent: Digital devices provide a constant channel for communication, making it difficult for a victim to find relief.
* Permanent: Most information shared online can be permanent and public, making it hard to erase and potentially impacting a person's reputation in the long term.
* Anonymous: The anonymity of the internet can embolden bullies and make it difficult for victims to identify their tormentors.
* 24-7. Kids used to be able to go home and escape their bullies. Due to the digital world we live in, it's challenging to avoid being constantly bombarded with this style of harassment.
Statistics and Prevention
Cyberbullying rates have increased significantly, particularly since the rise of social media and increased time spent online. Studies show that a substantial percentage of students have experienced cyberbullying, with girls often being more likely than boys to be victims.
Some common types of cyberbullying include:
* Mean or hurtful comments: Posting negative remarks about someone online.
* Spreading rumors: Sharing false or embarrassing information.
* Exclusion: Intentionally leaving someone out of a group chat or online activity.
* Sharing private information/Outing: Leaking personal photos or information without consent. Telling about a person’s private sexual orientation and “outing” a person.
Prevention strategies for cyberbullying focus on a combination of awareness, education, and intervention:
* Educate kids: Teach them about responsible online behavior, the permanence of digital content, and the importance of thinking before they post.
* Encourage reporting: Let kids know they should tell a trusted adult, like a parent or teacher, if they are being cyberbullied or see someone being bullied. Let's teach kids that it's right to report bullying, as it's a violation of school policy and is not considered tattling.
* Block and report: Advise victims to block the bully's account and report the incident to the platform or app administrators. Tell your teachers and principal. Even though this may occur outside of school, the administration may have a school policy in place to address this issue.
* Open communication: Maintain open conversations with children about their online activities and friendships to build trust and ensure they feel comfortable coming to you if a problem arises.
Bullying is going on in schools every day. It is wrong and not a rite of passage. Let's arm our kids with knowledge.
Mike Bogdanski is a martial arts Grandmaster and anti-bully activist.
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