School emotions- Anxiety or excitement?

School emotions-

Anxiety or excitement?

School emotions- Anxiety or excitement?

 

Each fall I like to think about how students prepare for a return to school. Each child may have a little apprehension to return due to classes with zoom, first-day jitters, or the pandemic.  I do think students from last year’s virtual classroom are excited to return after a zoom year away and summer vacation, but there is more to consider.

Social situations at home while students were zooming were much less likely to include bullying, teasing, and intimidation, but thoughts about returning to school paint a different picture in a child’s mind.

The pandemic has already shredded the self-esteem of many kids (and adults) who have developed social and emotional issues.  Many children with confidence and high self-esteem have also felt depressed and sad because of the state of affairs the world is currently in.  It is also not surprising that kids have lost social skills in the last year and a half.  For many, life on zoom in the comfort of home was oftentimes an easy day at school. Despite the occasional technical glitch, online learning meant keeping other stresses at bay. But this came with a major trade-off.

Seeing one’s peers on a screen gives students a sense of control over whom they see and talk to. They can log in and log off. But by heading back to the physical classroom, kids are mostly worried about facing social pressures that they have not faced in more than a year. Virtual learning helped get us through a tough time and some students have even thrived in class and engaged more than in person classes.

However, we are social creatures and we need people.

Kids with social anxiety had an easier time interacting on zoom.  No playground bullying, no bathroom bullying, no peer pressure in the hallways or bus.  All the areas where bullying takes place are removed from daily life, except cyberbullying which can take a more pronounced toll on kids because they are online so often.  Prolonged zooming has made kids suffer from social isolation and loneliness.  As a martial arts instructor teaching on zoom for a year, I know firsthand how difficult it has been for teachers too.

With any technology, we must acknowledge the good and the bad -- no interaction equals depression.

One of a human being’s basic needs is a sense of belonging.  We all need social connections, and chatting with friends in school about clothes, hairstyles, and hobbies has been out of the picture while on zoom.  Parents have developed other ways to help their children develop social interaction safely within their bubble or safe areas during the pandemic.

Change is hard- getting comfortable (too comfortable) with online learning will make kids more anxious in this changing situation.

Here are some solutions.

Help kids visualize a positive atmosphere, fun times, good friends.  In our karate class, we call this pre-framing.  Helping your kids imagine and expect a positive experience is a helpful tool.  

Ask for feedback in specific ways.  A question like “How was school today?” is too open-ended and will not get you a good response.  Ask them to rate their day on a scale of one to ten, ask what was the most fun or the most challenging part of their day.  This will open further dialogue and discussion.

Mention times when you might have had difficulties in school so you can show empathy.  We have all had many painful experiences in our school careers and sharing these stories will help your kids open up.  If they did have a low day ask them what could have happened differently that might have improved the situation.  Lastly, be a good listener and get them help from a teacher or a friend if needed.  Depression and bullying are no joke and can have a devastating effect on a child’s development.  And as the headline states, excitement or anxiety, both very similar emotions.  Just remind your child, it’s excitement!

Mike Bogdanski

America's ANTI Bully