Beware of Bullying Hotspots

 

With school back in session for a month now, we must again address new or repeated instances of bullying going on. When teaching self-defense against bullies, I always start with the A-B-C’s. “A” stands for awareness and being vigilant in areas where bullying is likely to occur. 

Bullying at school often occurs in specific locations, known as "hot spots," where there is less adult supervision. These areas can vary by school, but common hot spots include:

* Hallways and Stairwells: These are high-traffic, transitional areas where supervision is often limited, making them prime locations for bullying.

* Bathrooms and Locker Rooms: Due to a lack of adult presence, bullies frequently use these spaces as target-rich opportunity areas where bad situations can happen out of the view of teachers.

* Playgrounds and Athletic Fields: While often supervised, these areas can be large, allowing for incidents to occur out of a teacher's line of sight. What seems like casual interaction, or “play,” can become a problem area.

* Lunchrooms/Cafeterias: The noise and large crowds can make it difficult for staff to notice and intervene in bullying incidents. It becomes much harder to identify in the middle of a large group of children interacting.

* Classrooms (when the teacher is distracted): Bullying can also happen during moments of transition or when the teacher has left the room.

These physical locations are often where direct, in-person bullying, such as bodily harm, name-calling, or social exclusion, takes place.

Here is my recommendation. Using a buddy system can be a critical fix in many bullying situations. Bullies often look for kids who are isolated or alone. With a (confident) buddy, your child is less likely to be picked on, and both buddies can stand up for each other. If your child has the opportunity to use a friend to stand up for them actively, this will reduce the incidents of bullying. Now this is the time to address the “B and C” of self-defense. First, take a deep (B) breath and (C) communicate with confidence. I suggest role-playing assertive responses, such as “back away”. This method is a simple, confident, and rehearsed script, accompanied by a confident stance and eye contact. To excel at this, you and your child will need plenty of practice. Repetition creates success.

Cyberbullying (the silent method of bullying)

Cyberbullying is a form of bullying that occurs through digital devices, such as cell phones, computers, and tablets. It can happen on social media platforms, through text messages, or in online gaming environments. Many schools are banning cellphone use or planning to ban use. Several studies I have read see this as a win-win opportunity for teachers and students. Don't worry, in these cases, phones may be brought to school and just “parked” in the classroom. 

Cyberbullying is particularly harmful because it can be:

* Persistent: Digital devices provide a constant channel for communication, making it difficult for a victim to find relief.

* Permanent: Most information shared online can be permanent and public, making it hard to erase and potentially impacting a person's reputation in the long term.

* Anonymous: The anonymity of the internet can embolden bullies and make it difficult for victims to identify their tormentors. 

* 24-7. Kids used to be able to go home and escape their bullies. Due to the digital world we live in, it's challenging to avoid being constantly bombarded with this style of harassment.

Statistics and Prevention

Cyberbullying rates have increased significantly, particularly since the rise of social media and increased time spent online. Studies show that a substantial percentage of students have experienced cyberbullying, with girls often being more likely than boys to be victims.

Some common types of cyberbullying include:

* Mean or hurtful comments: Posting negative remarks about someone online.

* Spreading rumors: Sharing false or embarrassing information.

* Exclusion: Intentionally leaving someone out of a group chat or online activity.

* Sharing private information/Outing: Leaking personal photos or information without consent. Telling about a person’s private sexual orientation and “outing” a person.

Prevention strategies for cyberbullying focus on a combination of awareness, education, and intervention:

* Educate kids: Teach them about responsible online behavior, the permanence of digital content, and the importance of thinking before they post.

* Encourage reporting: Let kids know they should tell a trusted adult, like a parent or teacher, if they are being cyberbullied or see someone being bullied. Let's teach kids that it's right to report bullying, as it's a violation of school policy and is not considered tattling.

* Block and report: Advise victims to block the bully's account and report the incident to the platform or app administrators. Tell your teachers and principal. Even though this may occur outside of school, the administration may have a school policy in place to address this issue. 

* Open communication: Maintain open conversations with children about their online activities and friendships to build trust and ensure they feel comfortable coming to you if a problem arises.

Bullying is going on in schools every day. It is wrong and not a rite of passage. Let's arm our kids with knowledge.

Mike Bogdanski is a martial arts Grandmaster and anti-bully activist.

The 4 Rules of Concentration

 

Parents and students often wonder what the secret to academic success is. If you want to give your child a tactical advantage in school, provide them with a strategy, a game plan, and tips for becoming a champion (in school). My suggestion for creating a gold medal experience is to teach your children the four rules of concentration.

1. Focus your eyes: Directly look at the person teaching or the material you are studying to reduce distractions.
2. Focus your ears: Engage in active listening, paying attention to the instructor and the information being shared.
3. Focus your body: Maintain a good posture, signaling to your body and mind that you are prepared to receive information. 
4. Focus your mind: Clear your thoughts of distractions and keep your mind engaged on the task at hand, rather than letting it wander.

Welcome back, students! As you settle into your new routines, remember that a new school year is a chance to learn incredible things. To do that, you'll need one of your most powerful tools: your ability to concentrate.

Getting distracted is easy—a buzzing phone, a friend whispering, or just a wandering mind. But with a little practice, you can train yourself to stay focused. Here are four simple rules to help you master the art of concentration.

Rule 1: Focus Your Eyes

Your eyes are like a magnet for information. If they're darting around the room, they'll pick up on everything but what you need to learn. Whether you're in the classroom, the library, or your bedroom, direct your gaze to the task at hand. 

* In class: Look at the teacher when they are speaking. When you're working, look at the page in your book or the screen in front of you.

* At home: Keep your workspace free of distractions. Put away toys, games, and anything else that might catch your eye, especially no TV.

Rule 2: Focus Your Ears

It's distracting to listen to every little sound, but your ears can be trained to tune out the noise. Your brain can decide what to listen to and what to ignore. Always listen with the intent to learn. 

* In class: Listen for keywords and essential instructions from your teacher. Practice "active listening" by thinking about what they're saying instead of just hearing the words.

* At home: If your house is noisy, try using noise-canceling headphones. Ambient noise from the rest of the house may be very distracting and may even motivate you to leave your room to interact with brothers and sisters at play. 

3. Focus Your Body

A fidgety body makes for a fidgety mind. When constantly shifting or wiggling, it's hard for your brain to stay on track. Learning to keep your body calm and still helps your mind settle down, too.

* Find a comfortable, sturdy chair that allows you to sit straight up. Don't study a book at home while lying down. The only time you should lie down is if you want to take a nap.

* Before you start a task, take a few deep breaths. This simple action can help you relax, and extra oxygen fuels your body and mind for focus.

* If you feel antsy, try a quick stretch or take a short walk to reset before returning to your work. Getting up every twenty minutes at home gives you a small recharge (like plugging in your phone). Your body needs movement to offset extended sitting. If you need to take a longer break, drink some water and focus on something completely different. I call this rinsing out the sponge.

4. Focus Your Mind

Now, the most important rule of all is training your mind to have laser focus. Sometimes your mind is like a wild pony—it wants to run off in a million different directions. The other three rules are tools to help you bring it back. When your mind wanders, gently guide it back to what you must do.

* If you find yourself daydreaming, say to yourself, "Okay, back to work." It’s also alright to get up and move. A person's mind and body don't work independently; movement resets both. 

* Break your big tasks into smaller, manageable chunks. This makes hard work seem less overwhelming and more straightforward when mastering new material. 

* Reward yourself! After you've focused for a set amount of time, take a short break to do something you enjoy. I recommend staying away from your phone. Reading a message or a social media post may create anxiety and steal your focus.

When I taught students how to spar against a bigger and stronger opponent, they had better not think about what they would wear to school the next day. One second of lost focus could be painful when a strong punch found its way into their stomachs. When you are in the zone, you are in the zone.

Practicing these four rules will improve grades and build a skill that will help in every part of life. Good luck and have a great school year!